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Being that most people lead insignificant lives, its only a natural reaction to make existence seem more important than it really is. Enter the well-trodden concept of politics, where trivial arguments and grandiose noises are given a formal light, no matter how small the arena. I interviewed a few people about the political world they directly engage [...] Everyone has certain “things” they enjoy about potential mates. Be it the ability to drive a stick shift or shoot a deer, one person’s mundane skill could be the golden ticket of one horny individual. It is thanks to these impulses that the human race finds the will to re-spawn and that furry porn continues to thrive. Because I have no shame, I will share the things that deactivate my intellectual mind and cause me to weep uncontrollably in regret twenty minutes [...] You leaked an aura like a nuclear silo. Despite your best efforts, you still glowed through your neutral color blouse, your neutral color shoes, and your neutral color skirt. If there was a customizable feature on your person, you dulled it down to an earnest precision. I know why you dress like that. I can see it in the way you try to cloak your stride. You don’t want anyone to know how wicked you can be. How utterly delicious you are after-hours. On the clock, however, you’re a moneychanger. Working in the temple, merely trying to make a living. You prefer it that [...] I want to be a drug dealer. I spend at least two hours of every day searching for writing jobs, office jobs, and outdoor jobs. In this economic climate even hand jobs are in short supply. But despite all my exploration, resume edits and cover letters, I can’t find an occupation that would lead a female to find me attractive. I am financially stable but neutral to the point of crying tears of boredom. Being a server at a German novelty restaurant can only earn me so [...] I want fate to be real. Hopefully, somewhere, there lies a tome with my life story written upon its pages. I want the comfort of knowing my life is meant for bigger [...] |
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