I was born and raised in the South. My parents have taught me to be polite since before I could walk. I’ve learned to respect my elders and say the “magic words.” But, I am about fed up with it. I used to believe in Southern hospitality, but it seems it has
become a thing of the past. So, why should I bend over for jerks that do not have a polite bone in their bodies? Why should I go out of my way to ensure their comfort?
I was driving in the right lane on a four lane road, two lanes going north and two lanes heading south. There was another car in the lane to my left. There was no one in front of or behind me. The car to my left turned on her blinker to get into my lane. I think, “Okay, I will stay at this speed and she can decide if she wants to go faster or slower so she can get in front or behind me. I will be turning soon anyway.” Well, she did neither. Then, she started to honk her horn at me. At first, I thought I was mistaken. Surely, she isn’t honking the horn at me. There was another angry honk. I looked over and there she was, waving her fist at me and honking her horn. I guess she thought I should have inconvenienced myself and slowed down to let her in front of me. Needless to say, I did not quite agree with her. Since she could not hear me over the road noise, I decide to sign my disagreement by waving my middle finger at her. I turned at my destination and she continued on.
It isn’t just on the road, either. It is everywhere I go! The grocery store is the worst. First of all, I think the people who draw the floor plans for the grocery stores intentionally make the aisles too narrow for two shopping carts to pass side by side. Why they would do such an evil thing? I have no idea, but I tell you, it is a conspiracy. Then, I have to deal with the soccer moms and the trophy wives. You’ve seen them. You can’t miss them! They all have an orange fake-n-bake tan, bottle-blond hair, and wear tennis skirts that I am sure they found in the junior department. Worst of all,
they park their shopping carts smack dab in the middle of the aisle. When I thought polite was still “cool,” I would wait patiently until they found whatever gross health food they were looking for and then they would move their shopping carts so I could get by. Usually, they would give me a false smile and say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were there.” Of course, I knew full well they knew I was there. You can’t exactly sneak up on someone while pushing a squeaky shopping cart. But, I would just smile and say, “that’s alright.” Then, we would both go on our merry way until we met again on another aisle. Not anymore. Now, if I come across a shopping cart in the middle of the aisle, I give it a gentle tap until it rolls out of my way. Well, maybe tap isn’t the right word. I give it a hearty push so it goes flying down the aisle. Best part of this technique is the owner of said shopping cart usually heads straight to the register.
I suggest we all free ourselves from these chains that are “politeness.” We can be courteous to those who show us courtesy. However, as demonstrated, most people are selfish bastards and couldn’t care less about anyone else. For those folks, feel free to give them a big, fat bird and, if necessary, a swift kick in the ass.
