Being that most people lead insignificant lives, its only a natural reaction to make existence seem more important than it really is.
Enter the well-trodden concept of politics, where trivial arguments and grandiose noises are given a formal light, no matter how small the arena.
I interviewed a few people about the political world they directly engage everyday.
Jane Summerall, 2nd Grade Teacher – Woodrow, IA
“We used to have soda machines in the faculty lounge, and they were netting the school a healthy profit, but Principal Mason had a crush on Amie Rice, the all-organic Music teacher. He then swapped the soda machine out for a manual juicer and a basket of fruit he’s only refilled once. A fucking juicer! He’s probably banging that snooty bitch rotten by now. This school is all politics.
Chelsea Lee, Waitress – Boise, ID
“There’s this old creep I work with named Michael. He says he’s only 30, but he smells like my grandma’s arthritis cream. Anyway, he’s tried to convince me numerous times to flirt with the guy who delivers the beer kegs every week. Michael swears that the delivery guy loves hand jobs, and he’d gladly give the both of us free beer if I “took one for the team.” Well, now that I think about it, I haven’t gotten smashed in a long time, and I’ve never gotten fifteen gallons of PBR for tugging a dude off. He’s slimy, but Michael would be a good politician.”
Janet Hinson – Amarillo, TX
“I worked at Burger King for three years, and everything was going fine until Marcus Busch walked into the kitchen with his shiny Assistant Manager nameplate. Now he’s got me scrubbing the grill and cleaning out the tea dispenser like a damn fool, while he sits back and asks Alicia the cashier if she’d consider wearing a paper crown in the nude. Next time he yells at me for putting too many fries in the Medium carton, I’m going to throw boiling grease on him and stomp on his liquefied dick. I’m tired of the politics at Burger King.”
Indeed.
