Yard Sales ‘r Us

In the days of economic crisis and cutbacks and layoffs you can be calmed by the fact that when the going gets tough you can always have a lucrative yard sale. For some people shopping is a release, a natural high and an escape-much like television, books or video games for others. So when Target and the mall are out of the question, yard sales, flea markets and thrift stores fill the void. This is a good thing! This encourages recycling and reusing of goods! It lets the Brave Little Toaster move on to another happy household! Sadly, because I am a perverse and contrary creature, it makes me angry. All my favorite haunts become crowded and prices are driven up by demand. No, I don’t want your crappy micro-macro economics lecture on demand and supply-I just want my untrammeled Vintage Values back. It’s the irritating attitudes of the uber-trendy too, like they just discovered thrift stores. Listen, I liked owls, Julia Child and Goodwill when I was 11 years old and that was 21 years ago, so all you Anthropologie-Real Simple magazine-Passat driving goobers get over yourselves. And get out of my junk stores. Sigh, all right, I don’t mean it-it’s so much better for our world- but can you at least not be on your iPhone at horrifying decibels the whole time you’re shopping? We are all aware that you are shopping here to make a difference and a statment, not out of any real financial need. Don’t worry-NOBODY THINKS YOU’RE POOR! Now, hang up, pay and get out.

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