Love Is

It was a dark and dreary Saturday nite and she had massive constipation.  Not just a little bit—straight up Hoover Damnation constipation.  She’s lying on the floor, fetal position, hurting.  What can she do?  Who can she call?  Ghostbuster?  Gutbusters?  No.  Her boyfriend of a few months.  He is in the bed where she was but she no longer is.  What’s he gonna do?  Haha—she needs an enema.  From the drug store.  Down the road.  He has to go get her an enema to put Up Her Ass to relieve her Constipation.

Sex is not the end all of Love.  Sometimes it’s the dirtiness and grittiness that take a relationship to a Whole New Level.  Like enemas.  You think you love someone just because you managed to entertain a primal desire to ejaculate?  No—animals are able to ejaculate.  Only individuals who are able to love are able to pop the zits on someone else’s Ass Cheek.

Maybe we should start having a checklist for guys and girls.  Girls have to bring men toilet paper while they are taking a King Kong Shit.  Men have to run down to the store and buy tampons or pads for their women.  That shit is Embarrassing but that’s what Love is.  It’s the ugly and the dirty and the embarrassing.  It’s the ability to ride through the chaos of the mundane daily living.

Have you ever held your lover’s hand while they were running a fever?  Held their hair while they were yacking—and not from Drinking Too Much?  Worried about them while they had surgery?  That’s what love is.  Not simply inserting Penis Into Poontang.  Give me a serious break.

You wanna know about love?  Go ask your lover to do something that you think they’ll never do for you.  If they do it without comment, without bitching, without embarrassment to yourself—You have a Winner.

Love is Ugly and Love is without Judgement.

It’s chaos and carnage and someone you can Lean On without Disappointment.

I know.

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