I was in the audience last week at a Washington, DC comedy club (I won’t mention the name, anyway it’s probably being fumigated) and this guy onstage told everyone that women don’t have to worry about the current crap economy “cause y’all got a money-maker between yo’ legs”.
Surprisingly, none of the women there seemed really glad for the hot tip. I don’t know why. He’d saved some of us the price of a seminar or a book. But what about the guys? I’m thinking there were several possibilities: one, he looked around the room and all the male humans looking back were scary-ugly. Two, he’s used to thinking that men get to be architects and drive trains and stuff, whereas women answer phones and cook and can trade sex for money. Third, he thinks “gigolo” is Italian for gelatin.
I could use the extra income, but I just don’t see myself getting into this line of work. Bad knees, for one thing. And what if I got audited?
“Ma’am, you’ve listed penicillin as a business expense. Care to explain?”
I’m thinking I might need a lot of penicillin, and maybe some drugs to take the edge off at the end of a shift, and that could be a little tough to explain to a CPA. Well, I’m sure this guy on stage was just trying to be funny. He was in a comedy club, after all. He probably didn’t literally mean that women who need money cause the economy tanked should be prostitutes. That would be dumb! And men are the smart ones. We know this because it says so in the Bible! (Hey, I hope none of you are wearing cotton socks and leather shoes right now. The Bible says that is gonna make God un-Friend you. But you knew that, cause you’ve studied your Good Book. Gosh, I’m glad we’re having this little chat.) Yeah, so men know about God, and who has contraceptives instead of babies, and where women have to wear pup tents so they don’t accidentally show their elbows –it’s important stuff, don’t you read the paper?—your town probably still has one. So this guy, being a guy, would be smart, and know that prostitutes get beaten up and killed and –oh, some other bad stuff can happen, and tends to, and the police usually don’t care. Oh, I know. He was making a joke. It was a comedy club! And I just don’t get it, not being one-a those smart male people. Is this like those fart jokes? Cause I don’t get those, either. Now, if I could write a bunch of those, I bet I’d get rich, and then that guy wouldn’t tell me to, you know. Oh, yeah, he would, cause it’s funny. Right?
