The politics of the Americas are completely devoid of benevolence towards anyone one who disagrees with certain viewpoints that make up popular consensus.  Having a new regime that isn’t about what’s popular but about getting a job done; about having one man that knows how to do one thing well which is running this country.  I would even go so far as to welcome a Jay Z who has in his career gone from rags to riches by starting out doing one thing extremely well and then slowly diversifying his portfolio, adding things little by little to create the empire that he has today.  I am not saying that we need to gear up the poles for President Z at this point but if we get to the point of dismantling the government I think we may need to start off a bit differently than we did before.  Yes, maybe we lose our constitution to a rap about the U.S. having 99 problems and a bitch ass government ain’t one.  Or maybe we have to replace the national anthem to a song that starts out with a crazy bass line but we will be privy to the kindnesses that have eluded us during our current government.  Are we ready for a revolution? I don’t know but people are calling for it….my only question is what’s next?

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I also wonder if they realize that while they are content to just sit and wag their head at the injustice being meted out if people won’t stand up for what this country stands for then we are doomed to fail as a country. Right now people are so content to blame the demise of this country on the lack of funds and Obama, but I see the epic fail of this country as calling out Supreme Justice Sonya Sotomayor for simply upholding a decision made by a judge that people considered racist while this judge who is clearly breaking the law hasn’t made one blip in the minds of the masses. I hope that one day people are judged not by the color of their skin but the content of their character. I hope; Dr. Martin Luther King dreamed…..his dream was exactly that, a dream. How can we get to judging someone on the content of their character if the color of their skin or how they speak or dress prevents us from getting to know their character? I am an activist, however complacent, you will never find me marching on the front lines but you will hear me supporting and cheering on the people who are. You will never find me trying to get new legislation passed but you will see me signing my name, you will ne’er see me in a court defending someone’s right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness but you will see me on the jury finding in their favor.

In this case I wanted to do none of the above, I just wanted to stop and ask you. Do you consider yourself white? Is your partner white? Do you consider yourself a “good ole’ American?” Does your partner consider themselves a “good ole’ American?” If you consider yourself an American then you should believe in what this country stands for and the laws and rights that each of us has as an American. If you place exceptions on that you are sure to lose your rights as an American. No one American is better than the other, no matter what your irrelevant judgment is of that person. We are all Americans and if you see American couples walking down the street remember that your thoughts about them don’t matter because they still have rights in this, their country. Whether or not you consider them interracial or socially unacceptable, they have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. If you think otherwise, it’s you that are the deadliest potion in the country not blacks, not interracial couples or their offspring, but you and your refusal to be American and to stand for the liberties that our good white founding forefathers gave us. The principle that ALL men are created equal and are due equality in this country is every Americans indelible right and to deny them that is simply un-American. Are you an American?

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What the fuck are you women who are dating these younger guys thinking?! You Cougar women who find these young hot guys and have relationships with them, what the hell do you have in common with a 20-something year old who has barely escaped puberty with his life and an opposable thumb?! I can understand the argument about there being no decent men out there but really? Is dating your baby brother really going to solve the problem for you or just add more problems? I ask you this, more than likely if you are 30 and he is 20 what are you going to share, your mutual love of ice cream and movies? What are you building with this person that has a lasting effect?

I think that women who date younger men are unfulfilled mothers. Women who want to be the mommy because it’s easier just to tell a man, who is eager to please, what to do than to actually be in a VIABLE adult relationship. A relationship where the pair of you enters into it with respect and love and a working knowledge that whatever that person gives in the relationship is because he or she wants to give it—not is being told to give it! Listen, I’m all for crazy, mad love. Love that makes you do things that you never thought you would do…..or feel things you never thought you would feel. However, when love is making you act like an ass by taking the easy road out of a viable relationship, I say fuck love! I refuse to ever believe that a woman who is accomplished that is dating a man 10 or more years younger than she is “in love”! Nay, nay, she is “in control”! There is nothing lovely about a woman who is in a relationship to “teach” her partner what she likes so that he can be her lackey. To take a persons’ mind at its most fecund point and arresting it to accomplish your selfish whims, is deplorable to me.

Knowledge: If a man loves you….I mean truly loves you he will want to lend to who you are as a person, not just fulfill your every whim. He will want to challenge you intellectually and cause you to think outside of the box, he will not want you to train him to be inside of a box. A man who is responsible and has something to offer is going to do it on mutual terms, based on your love for each other, and will not be your lackey. Any woman who is looking for a lackey to do what she wants when she wants needs help, immediately! Please, to all the women out there who are dating these younger men, giving them the illusion that they are in a functional relationship because they can do what “mommy” tells them and subsequently keep her happy, take a minute to think about what happens when the pair of you move on to other lovers.

1. He is no longer capable of taking the lead in his life or anyone else’s, he always is a lackey, always and forever being told what to do.
2. He will forever have his mind stunted by your selfishness in life, thereby creating a man who is lazy in thought and creativity.
3. He will eventually just find another woman who is needy and controlling as you to order him around and will never get the full experience of a mutual viable relationship because he has never had to think.

I am placing all Cougars on notice. You all should do something good for the community and for your children if you have them. Be willing to allow a man to be a man and love you without form of your controlling it. Teach your sons that if they love a woman they will want to bring something to the table, not just go from one mommy to the next. Teach your sons that if a woman loves him, she will respect him and love him and support him in being a better man….not control him. If, however you are a Cougar and refuse to re-evaluate your relationship, all I can wish is that your sons see the error of your ways and choose a better relationship…..oh, and I also wish for a plague on both your houses!

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Sissy: That’s because you’re single.

Me: Oh, so married people never get bored?

Sissy: No, because we’re too busy feeling sorry for people like you!

Thus began the endless questioning that I do of my life whenever I talk to either one of my sisters. I desperately needed to get out of the house, do something! So I would never have to be bored.
(Or at least admit boredom to my sisters.) I had tried a variation of remedial tasks to keep me busy about town and the house but it was useless. I was bored and lonely! It had been a week since I ran into the beautiful blue eyed man downtown. I hadn’t thought anymore of him until a friend of mine suggested that we have a little party to mix things up a bit. I readily agreed. Elle and I set out to plan an intimate little gathering at her place which was perfectly close to Wrightsville Beach and it was the onset of summer. She invited some friends, I invited some friends and we thought that both sets of friends would fit perfectly together and we would have a great time. After a week of hard planning came to a close, we began on a Saturday night primping ourselves for the bash. I was wearing a cute two piece pink bathing suit with a lime green cover up. As I was putting the finishing touches on my make-up Elle yells out to me from the kitchen,

“Hey! I invited my friend Fabian I think you might like him! The two of you are so much alike I think you would hit it off!”

I didn’t want to tell her that I didn’t want to meet a guy called Fabian let alone get on with him. However, I shrugged it off and just answered,

“OK? I hope he’s cute!”

Party under way, I’m making drinks, *shaking booty to music* introducing people around and being the fabulous host that I can be when I’m 2 glasses of Shiraz in. Handing a fellow partier a drink and then engaging him in conversation, I see out of the corner of my eye Mr. Beautiful Blue Eyes. I stood there *heart racing* with Mr. Beautiful staring at me staring AND the guy I was talking to. I kept thinking that if I just stood there *socially inept* long enough he would just go away. He didn’t. He stood there just staring and waiting for me to finish talking. He waited for a minute or two, and then spoke.

“Hello, Wynter. How are you?”
“I’m fine and you?
“I’m good. Very busy with work though. Elle told me about this party you guys were having and I thought I would come by to see you for a bit.”
“Well, I’m glad you did.” There is no need to look down I can feel my legs shaking.
He leans in a little closer and asks, “Would you like to go outside and talk?”
Breathless *feeling nervous* I answer, “Sure.”

We sat and talked, but mostly I just watched his mouth moving. I registered a laugh and uh-huh every now and again just to keep it interesting. I stared into his eyes and watched how every time he smiled his eyes would respond in kind. I watched the way his lips moved every time he said my name. I was jarred out of my admiration for him with the very disturbing news that he had to get back to work.
“Oh, really,” trying to hide my disappointment, “You can’t stay longer?”
“No, I’m sorry. I just came by because I really wanted to talk with you but how about if you stop by my office sometime next week and I’ll take you to lunch?” *butterflies*
“Sounds perfect,” *slight hesitation* “you might not remember me but the first time I saw you was…”
“At the parking garage on Market St. and… if I remember correctly you are doing a much better job standing up these days.” He and his eyes smile at me.
“Yeah” I say coyly, “I didn’t think you remembered seeing me.”
“Why do you think I’m here? I’ll call you next week” *he winks*
Again, with the butterflies in the stomach and wondering if he is feeling the same. As he saluted me goodbye I stood watching him walk away thinking,

Could it be that trusting the feeling and trusting the man are the same things? Is a woman, when she trusts a man, really just trusting a feeling inside herself that says, ‘he gets me’?
I’m not certain, but however it turns out and no matter what the answer, I know that I won’t be bored figuring things out with Mr. Fabulous!

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I met a guy while sitting out on the beach writing. He introduced himself to me and quickly won me over with his witty one liners and general tenacity. We exchanged phone numbers and after the customary 3 day waiting period he rang me up. Initially we talked about the general stuff, what kind of activities we like, where we are from and subsequently where we want to go. Then we moved on to the more interesting conversation, (this is the point in the conversation where you find out if a person has any real mettle) what books you like to read IF you like to read, what sort of movies do you watch, etc. The conversation was going well until the subject of Schrödinger’s cat came up.
OK, so don’t ask me how Schrödinger’s cat came up….I probably made some stupid joke about PETA and Schrödinger’s freaking cat and he didn’t get it and I, more than likely took offense, because hey….let’s face it I’m pretty damn funny! Back to the story.

I thought that he would just shrug it off and move on; but no, that’s not what happened. He went back to the subject of movies for a bit, and then he began to talk about Schrödinger – in detail! I was SO impressed with his knowledge of the theory and his application of it to everyday life that I literally had stars in my eyes…well, not so literally but you know what I mean. So, we engage in this really prolific conversation over the phone and I felt satisfied. Mostly, because any conversation that I have that’s prolific I’m happy with and also because I was thinking that I may have finally found a guy that I could date and talk to! He called me a couple of days later and when I saw his number in my phone I got butterflies in my stomach. I rushed to answer the phone. After some casual conversation I hinted that he should ask me out on a date. He did and we did.

I was happy to see that he looked like I’d remembered him as we sat at a little Italian restaurant in Monkey Junction. As we talked the conversation came oddly around to…..of course Schrödinger’s cat. I immediately noticed the look of bother on his face but didn’t understand it until he began to fumble about the topic. Yes, the same topic that he had spoken on earlier with such ease, such knowledge! I was floored. *giggle* (That statement is always funny to me. One day I’ll explain why.) Later that evening while watching “The Philanthropist”, which is sponsored by Bing.com there was a commercial where Teddy Rist’s-the philanthropic lead of the show-assistant is at her desk and she gets a call from the bodyguard. He asks what the meaning of ‘factotum’ is because Teddy always refers to him as his ‘factotum’.

She immediately goes to Bing.com while engaging him in mild conversation until Bing.com gives her the results where she casually works the answer back into the conversation. A light came on in my head and I thought, “BING!”

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